For a lot of my life, I’d been very successful and a high earner. But in 2015, I was laid off. Although I found a decent paying job after that, I hated everything about it. After my one-year contract expired, I left. In the short term, this helped me to reconnect with my loved ones whom I had been distant, moody, and taken my frustrations out on. After several months of job searching, I decided to go back to practicing law for myself. Business development proved much more difficult than I anticipated. I went days, sometimes weeks, with little to do, and little income. And again, I isolated from my loved ones because of my feelings of inadequacy and frustration.
The Fall of 2018 was a low point for me, and that is when I started seeing Tessa. At that time, I was struggling with many aspects of my life—felt sad a lot of the time, had difficulty getting out of bed, felt disconnect with my family, and hid my struggles from my friends.
When criticized — even for the most minor things or when my efforts (when I tried) went unrecognized — I’d crawl back under the covers.
Tessa helped me put things into perspective and to develop tools to cope with my difficulties. First, she helped me understand that it’s okay to accept, even embrace, the emotions I was feeling. Sometimes life isn’t that fair. Sometimes people who work hard aren’t rewarded for their efforts, personally or professionally. Those things can suck, and it’s okay to recognize that.
Second, she helped me take control of my reactions to things. Instead of getting upset that my boys were taking me for granted, we worked on allowing them to take more responsibility for things. I didn’t need to resent making their beds and cleaning their rooms. Instead, I could shift the responsibility to them and let them know the consequences for not doing it.
With my wife, I needed to think about her perspective on certain issues and talk with her constructively about my point of view.
My outlook on my relationships, my career and myself improved dramatically. Granted, my business has improved greatly, so my self-esteem and self-worth have also improved. And Tessa helped me find ways of handling conflicts constructively and coping with difficulties when they happened. My last session with her was last week (for now), but I am so happy I went to see her and know she will be there if I need to see her again.